It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Randomize
