billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
