I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
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