oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
He? As in you personified your dick?
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
