I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Randomize
