Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
She bit a glass in half.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize