we have officially lost it.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
