wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
