Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Randomize
