i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
