i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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