it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
