Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
She even gives head with a lisp.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
