we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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