i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize