this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
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