Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
