hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
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