even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
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