I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
