she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Randomize
