you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
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