no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
