We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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