Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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