yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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