pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
