Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
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