I CAN MOONWALK!
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize