She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Randomize
