He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
