addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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