Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize