its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Randomize
