Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
