What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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