so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Randomize
