Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
the liver wants what the liver wants
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
