All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
