i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Brb crying the tears of my youth
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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