I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
