peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
