ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
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