I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Randomize
