There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
