you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
