At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
