My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
The feeling are messing with the penis
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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