Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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