I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
