That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
