The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
it hurts more in the daytime
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Randomize
