P.S. I can't hear my feet
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
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