the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
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