Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
