all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
