i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
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