I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Randomize
