This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
