You made me cry and you don't even care
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Randomize
