she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize