i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
