Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
