8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
