Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
i need some magic done to my vagina
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Randomize