i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I need water and some morals
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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