And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
