dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
