So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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