Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
