Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
It's never too late to be topless.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
