you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I love you. Go after that dick
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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