I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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