Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
