Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
