Soap is not a condiment
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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