Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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