Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
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