Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
